||[Jun. 24th, 2008|11:23 pm]
i had something i wanted to write but instead i'm arguing with my father about..|
whether people are black, african american, or N******.
you get the point. why is that EVEN relevent. he keeps referring to them as "blacks".
why? i don't understand why he cares so much.
if i wanted to be called honky it's my perogative...
that is totally not what i wanted to talk about though...
WHY! does that piss me off so much?
something else that pisses me off!
how come every goddamn time that i log into facebook/myspace i see pictures of
girls in their goddamned wedding dresses.
why are these girls married? why did they want to get married?
am i bitter because i'm single or because i have a little more common sense.
ps. i am bitter because i'm single. i feel like i'm the last single person out there.
even people i know, are married and say they didn't even like the idea, it just seemed
like the right thing to do...
do i have a sign on my head that says "undateable, please do not pursue?"
why am i waiting tables and not actively pursuing a "real" job.
why am i convincing myself that a "real" job is what i need right now.
why am i not trying to fulfill my list of goals, and instead sitting on my ass complaining
about how fucking bored i am.
i thought this summer was going to be fucking great, and it still has fucking potential
but GODDAMN!! i am fucking fed up.
mostly with myself.
i've grown CONTENT! the worst of all sins (if you believe in such a thing...of course
conversation for later)..
why am i so angry/bitter/cynical/horrible...
sorry, i should probably call it a night.