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(no subject) [Jul. 1st, 2009|05:10 pm]
sometimes it seems a little un-natural that everyone i know seems to be getting married, or having children.
everyone has a significant other. everyone has one of those things.

and it makes me think "whats wrong with me?" why don't i have those things...

and even though i'm halfway around the world, living and enjoying my life, doing things that the above mentioned cannot do, it still makes me a little sad.

where did i go wrong?
but at the same time....fuck it.

maybe i should just completely shut myself off from america.
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update [Feb. 15th, 2009|11:04 pm]
things i've been doing..

-reading lots of books
-preparing for a road trip to texas, which begins tomorrow.
 i'm kind of in the dark about it, and it's driving me insane
-i bought a new laptop, that i don't know how to use.
 technology and myself are not friends
-getting ready to move to korea in a few weeks. i'm scared/excited.

the end
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eh...it's christmas [Dec. 7th, 2008|03:08 pm]
i've always tried to live by the phrase of don't let contentment be confused for happiness.
well, karma truly is a bitch and contentment just bit me on the ass...

it's christmas.
i just lost my job.
i can't afford my bills.
i can't seem to find another one...

all of the job opportunities that came my way this past year
that i turned down because i was CONTENT! where i was..
which was..being able to pay the bills, have a flexible schedule which allowed for fun..
and now..well, i just feel like an idiot.

i've been applying to jobs like crazy..
real jobs, you know the 9-5 ones
and i also applied for a server job here in town due to an ad in the paper
i just need to do something to make some money..

i'm trying to gather things that i can sell/melt/pawn for cash
to make up the $400 i need by the 19th.
my family is being completely awesome and paying one of my
big bills for me but told me that theres no way they could pay
their bills and mine..
which i would not expect them to.


in other news,
i met someone.
someone kind of cool.
good head on his shoulders,
smart, ambitious...
and lives an hour away..

and i've discovered a love for drag shows.
$2 to get in, drinks are not completely necessary
especially not for a $4 bottle of beer..
but the queens are fabulous!
and i've truly enjoyed myself there..
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(no subject) [Aug. 26th, 2008|01:44 pm]
hello all.
in an attempt to figure out my life,
i applied for a teaching job in China.


and they emailed me back today with a few
questions, well two actually.

it's taking me forever to answer them because
i want it to be perfect.

so here are the questions..
how would YOU answer them...about yourselves.
i don't feel comfortable talking about myself like that
although i need to get over it and get this dang job!

1) What is it that interests you about moving overseas to take on a teaching position?
2) What skills do you possess that will help you effectively motivate both primary and secondary school students?

I need to do laundry, smoke a lot of cigarettes and just think...


by the way, i'm totally excited about this..



i sent my answers, and I think that their pretty awesome.
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anger. [Jun. 24th, 2008|11:23 pm]
i had something i wanted to write but instead i'm arguing with my father about..
whether people are black, african american, or N******.

you get the point. why is that EVEN relevent. he keeps referring to them as "blacks".

why? i don't understand why he cares so much.

if i wanted to be called honky it's my perogative...

that is totally not what i wanted to talk about though...

WHY! does that piss me off so much?


something else that pisses me off!

how come every goddamn time that i log into facebook/myspace i see pictures of
girls in their goddamned wedding dresses.

why are these girls married? why did they want to get married?

am i bitter because i'm single or because i have a little more common sense.

ps. i am bitter because i'm single. i feel like i'm the last single person out there.
even people i know, are married and say they didn't even like the idea, it just seemed
like the right thing to do...

do i have a sign on my head that says "undateable, please do not pursue?"

why am i waiting tables and not actively pursuing a "real" job.

why am i convincing myself that a "real" job is what i need right now.

why am i not trying to fulfill my list of goals, and instead sitting on my ass complaining
about how fucking bored i am.

i thought this summer was going to be fucking great, and it still has fucking potential
but GODDAMN!! i am fucking fed up.

mostly with myself.

i've grown CONTENT! the worst of all sins (if you believe in such a thing...of course
conversation for later)..

why am i so angry/bitter/cynical/horrible...


sorry, i should probably call it a night.
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(no subject) [May. 25th, 2008|10:16 am]
i'm flying to boston today
nates meeting me at the airport
or outside of boston

whichever is more convenient

we're headed to cape cod and
then i'll hopefully be able to go to
maine for a few days.

i've never been to that area of the
states, save for NYC but that doesn't

i want to see the coast and wear sweaters.

see you next week.
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imagine if you will... [Apr. 30th, 2008|12:30 am]
[how i'm feelin' |drunka little]

what it would be like to fuck this guy..
i mean...ugh. this is so disgusting..

how did he get his panties on?
his breasts are huge.
i'm asking this question but realize
that he probably spends 24 hours working
out and doesn't have time for sex.

what would you hold on to?
so gross.
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(no subject) [Apr. 3rd, 2008|01:32 pm]
i have an interview soon.
their calling to set up times on the 8th.
meaning, there are several people
applying for the position.

the one where i have zero experience
with. and a horrible job market means
that i probably don't stand a chance.

it is not in atlanta like i hoped that it
would be, but i'm chalking it all up
to experience.

perhaps soon, the state will be
issuing me a gun. i might be a
parole officer.

cross your fingers kids!!
i need a REAL job. i can't pay my bills!
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happy fucking v-day [Feb. 14th, 2008|03:45 pm]

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life [Feb. 5th, 2008|03:45 pm]
work wise.
things i never thought that i'd be doing..i'm doing.
things i thought i would be doing seem impossible.

so far for 2008..

prek teacher

testing for parole officer thursday.
but i kind of like serving.
it's nice having cash in your pocket

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